More Shorties – One Simple Change = 93% Increase in Conversions

A Simple Change

An e-commerce company selling a deodorant product line was using the headline, “Feel fresh without sweat marks.”

But when they changed their copy to be more action oriented – “Put an end to sweat marks!” – their conversion to the checkout page increased by 93%.

Take a look at your headlines. Are they passive or active?

Examples of passive headlines include:

  • Toronto was named city of the year by the Fairfield Commission
  • World’s biggest bookstore has been sold to conglomerate
  • Mothers are asked 300 questions a day by children
  • 200 workers were laid off by company owners

Examples of active headlines include:

  • Two baby giraffes escape zoo
  • Scottish government reveals independence plan
  • The world’s first electric helicopter takes flight in Germany
  • Taylor Swift wins top award

In the passive voice, the subject (noun) is acted upon (verb) by an object.

In the active voice, the subject (noun) of a sentence performs an action (verb) on an object.

If your current headlines are passive, try doing an A/B test with an active headline and see if you get a 93% increase in conversions, too.


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